As I am constantly trying to be the faux-est parisienne of them all I sometimes forget the abundance of things that I miss dearly from good ole A-mare-ihhh-kuh…and so after a five-week-long visit to my ‘home-sweet-home’ (read-my parents kitchen is actually larger than my humble abode nestled above a kebab shop), I am ready to write a little listy-poo of all the things I wish could magically fly over to gay Par-ee.
1. (This written with one glistening tear rolling down my soft powder-dusted cheek) All of my family and friendly-poopers. How I miss thee. The universe needs to take a tip or two from Star Trek or Harry Potter to figure out that whole apparition gag.
2. Ahh! The sweet dusty scent of cardboard boxes filling a warehouse larger than a cathedral…you can actually buy a toilet here (with a heated seat and bidet-like add on features!) amongst sides of beef, fromage (not half-bad either) and 36 rolls of toilet paper (white…) all for under approximately $30. Let’s hear it for COSTCO! (Aurora village what! what!)
3. No trip to Seattle is appropriate without the requisite late-night, lunch-time, snack-time, or any-time inspired Dick’s Drive-in. Dicks deluxe, fries and a chocolate shake. France-you can keep your burgers with fois gras and truffles…$5 gets me one of the best burgers ever! (Special thanks to my partners in indulgence-Erin, Emily, Shannon, Andrew and the Rubester)
4. Les sapins, les sapins, les sapins! (Or for ya’ll speakin’ Ah-mare-ih-kunn… “pine trees, pine trees, pine trees!!!) Pretty trees. Grass you can prance through without the fear of a whistle being blown or dog-merde hidden in its sumptuous blades…go team Northwest!
5. Popsicles. The bad-off-brand-kind from Fred Meyer or Albertsons. The sweet taste of childhood…well and adult-hood.
6. Cocktails. Did someone say French 75? Gin and Tonic? Punch before lunch? The art of cocktail making is sadly missing from France (given the lack of ice it’s no wonder…)
7. The gym. The perfect antidote after you go to Dick’s two consecutive times.
8. Customer service. For a nation that is obsessed with politesse I give customer service two thumbs down…however in the U. S of A. … “why yes indeed Valerie! I would love some more water, and thank you for that dessert menu…the pie does indeed look tempting!” (I said, weeping with gratitude as Valerie bounced away ice-cubes jingling.)
9. Jankie-pants. (heehee)
10. Ice-cubes. The simple joy of reaching into a freezer (ahhh! A freezer!) and having ice. All. The. Time.
